THE MIDDLE CHILD, SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF AN ONLY CHILD

Frank J Barnes, 63, a loving husband and father, passed away Saturday, Aug. 14, 2010, at his home. Funeral: 7 pm Wednesday in Biggers Funeral Chapel. Committal: 10 am Saturday in Greenwood Memorial Park. Visitation: The family will receive friends 5 to 7 pm Wednesday at Biggers Funeral Home. Memorials: Memorial gifts may be made to Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Foundation of Tarrant County, Box 101328, Fort Worth, TX 76185-1328. Mr Barnes, a lifelong area resident, served in the US Army, including service in Vietnam. He was an avid Texas Longhorn fan and worked for 34 years at General Dynamics, now Lockheed-Martin, where he presently was serving in the tooling department. Survivors: His wife, Debbie Barnes of Fort Worth; daughter, April Beck and husband, Justin, of Fort Worth; sons, Eric Barnes of River Oaks and Mark Barnes of Azle; stepson, Ryan Whittington and wife, Sally, of Thackerville OK; sisters, Brenda Eason and husband, Tommy, of Crowley, Sandra Prater and husband, Tommy, of River Oaks and Lucille Painter of Mill Springs, NC; brother, Woody Barnes and wife, Joanne, of Benbrook; three grandchildren; and a number of nieces and nephews.
Published in Star-Telegram on August 16, 2010

(Frank had mowed his yard on Saturday morning, planning to get it done before it started getting really hot. When he finished, he told his wife he didn't feel good and was going to go take a shower to cool off. She left to go to the store, and when she came home, found him lying on their bed. She really didn't think much of it, but after a while thought it odd and went to check on him. It was then that she realized he was dead. His death was ruled as a heart attack.)

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Frank was my first cousin, his mother and my mother were sisters. He was from July to February older than me, so during most of our childhood, we were very close.

During the early years, Frank was the middle child. We all called him Jake. His middle name was Jerome, thus the nickname. Anyway, it seems he could never measure up to his older brother Woody, and his sister Sandra, being the baby, was always blaming him for everything that went wrong. My recollections of Frank are of him constantly being criticized, yelled at and reprimanded.

I remember one incident in particular when we were all at my grandparents' in Nacogdoches. For some reason we had a bunch of firecrackers. Jake, Sandra and I were in the bed for Grandpa's pick-up, which was parked out in front of the house. Somehow, the whole package of firecrackers was lit and they started going off in the bed of that truck. We all rolled out of the back of the truck like we had caught fire ourselves! We started laughing, except for Sandra. It had scared her, she ran in the house crying and told her mother that Jake had lit those firecrackers on purpose. Aunt Alice called Jake in, gave him a whipping, even though I corroborated his story. I got a whipping too for lying! Go figure!

I can just hear his mother, as he entered the gates of heaven, “Franklin! What were you thinking, mowing in that heat?” But, since it is heaven, I have to think that what he heard her say way, “Son! I’m so glad you made it Home!” I also think that perhaps since he didn’t receive the adulation and attention that his siblings received when he was growing up, this was God’s way of him getting the undivided attention of both his parents.

I was a little disappointed in the obituary above because it didn't mention that he was preceded in death by his parents, who they were or where he was born.

I also was a little disappointed at his memorial service because the focus seemed to have been on his current wife (he had been married four times) and his step-daughter (who was referred to as his daughter), but nothing about his biological son or his adopted son. (Frank's second wife, Betty, had a son, Mark, whom Frank adopted as his own. Frank and his biological son, Eric, by his third wife, Cathy, had had a rather strained relationship until recently when they had begun bonding and more or less "finding" each other. Eric has a daughter, Frank's grand-daughter, whom he adored. She adored him as well. Little was said about her either; she was merely mentioned in the survivor's list.)